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Satire: Local psychic predicts dire outcome of Pakistan’s alliance with China

Satire: Local psychic predicts dire outcome of Pakistan’s alliance with China

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Citizens have been in a frenzy ever since local psychic, Tania, predicted that the future looks very bleak for Pakistan in 2075.

In an exclusive interview with ProperGaanda, Tania stated that the fault lies with CPEC and Pakistan’s growing relationship with China. Tania stated, “Cheap traditional Chinese medicine and advanced surveillance techniques will corrupt our traditional values”. According to Tania’s vision, 2075 Pakistan will look much like Black Mirror’s Episode 1 (Nosedive) from season 3 in which a social rating system determines your net worth. The public has been polarised ever since the revelation. Kitty party aunties have been rejoicing; their ghastly opinions will finally amount to something more than fodder for the gossip mill. On the other hand, conservatives and liberals seem to have formed a coalition to have PERMA ban the internet, effectively nipping the problem in the bud. During a rally, a protestor stated that while cyber bullying is an excellent way to pass time, the social rating system would take all the fun out of trolling. Another protestor said, “You cannot reduce the art of trolling and constantly demeaning one an other to numbers. That takes the beauty out of it.” While news channels provide unnecessary constant coverage of this odd alliance, ProperGaanda has been notified that Tania has been placed under protective custody. Word on the street is that Nawaz and Imran had both resorted to hounding Tania, in hopes that she would predict the outcome of the 2018 elections.

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Next Up: Amir Liaqat speaks openly about how his stay at the spiritual resort outside Lahore has changed him as a person.


Feature image credits: Magoz, The New York Times

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