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Powder Still Clinging to her Nostrils, an Unlikely Patriot Rises from the Dust

Powder Still Clinging to her Nostrils, an Unlikely Patriot Rises from the Dust

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Don’t f** with Pakistan, Lindsay Lohan threatens with the casual finesse of a native.

Accusing homeless Arabs of cuddling random children on the street that were definitely not their own, Lindsay courageously navigates the shades of brown to the ultimate demise of her brittle septum. I’m proud of her though. For defending the honor of every Pakistani kid that was ever too loved for their own good by an Arab. For standing up for all the little brown girls and the little brown boys living with asshole adults who acted like real parents. Who are these people casually banning sleepovers at the white kid’s house? It’s not like we were getting kidnapped. right?

Linsday Lohan kidnapping kids

WRONG. Seriously Lindsay what the actual fuck is wrong with your savior complexed coke puffing ass?! Nevermind, we already know. Honestly, sometimes white people have important things to say like that time they call us out for not “even go[ing] there” when we have on our fake Harvard hoodies. But like why can’t they take their own advice sometimes? Listen to yourself girlfriend, stop f**ing with whatever Pakistani that’s got your head in an oriental loop. And don’t you try blaming this on your evil step twin either. We know it’s you. Still love you though <3

Actual footage of Lindsay Lohan kidnapping children:

Actual footage of LL habibae speaking Arabic:

Actual footage of nobody liking it:

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