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‘My daughter is turning 32 and won’t marry, help!’


‘My daughter is turning 32 and won’t marry, help!’


Shela’s Shaadi Studio

Hi Shela, Hina this side from Faisalabad. I’ve been consulting with the local rishta ladies but none have been able to set my daughter up with a suitable match.

My daughter, Nina, completed her education from Lahore and is now working in Dubai. She has a great job and is not financially dependant in any way, but she’s turning 32 next month and I’m worried its getting quite late for her. At first we were very particular about the proposals but now I have told her to compromise and just get on with it.

Very soon the only proposals that will come her way will be divorced men with children.

All of her friends are married and most have even had their first child already. I’ve told Nina it’s high time she settle down, but whenever I bring up shaadi, she tells me she hasn’t met the right match and is perfectly happy on her own. Shela jee, I can set up a Zoom call with Nina and myself but we need to get through to her and convince her that there is no ‘right person’, everyone has to adjust. I adjusted with Nina’s father, my mother adjusted with my father. This is just the way it is. I’m afraid her radical nature will spoil any chances of her starting a family. In full disclosure, I have to let you know that Nina was engaged two years ago to a boy in Karachi, but the relationship fizzled out after 8 or so months because his family wanted someone more homely and less career oriented.

I look forward to your urgent response.

Hina Bhatti

Dear Hina,

I hope you are doing well. I would have replied sooner but as you know its shaadi season and even in corona, it is quite hectic. I was utterly exhausted after attending the Master Tiles x Jalal Sons wedding, what a total fiasco that was. Who knew that kind of money even existed? 

Sorry for rambling on dear Hina, but let’s get to the point shall we.

Your daughter Nina sounds like a very accomplished woman from the looks of it. She’s educated, working and living life independently. And quite honestly, her concern sounds perfectly legitimate. Marriages often last a lifetime or end in nasty divorces, you don’t want her setting up with the wrong person do you? 

However, I also understand your concern. Our society thinks a girls value lessens with her age, which is utterly preposterous isn’t it? Rushing into a marriage at 22 is a surefire way to royally bungling things up. Dear Hina, have you for a second considered that you are feeling all this pressure because of what people say? Even reading your email, I can see that you are quite confident about your daughter’s capability to make it on her own.

I usually don’t turn down potential clients, but I think I would be able to better serve you and your daughter when she is actually ready to settle down.

And don’t worry Hina dear, this isn’t the 80s when you had to get married and settle posthaste. Had all of us spent some time looking for the ‘right person’ then, more than half of us wouldn’t be stuck in problematic marriages. Your daughter doesn’t seem radical at all, she seems quite reasonable!

Take care dear Hina and take it easy with the rishta search. Maybe a trip to Dubai would be nice!


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