Men can be allies for women without losing their masculinity

As we begin, I want to clear one thing. Yes, I am a feminist. No, I don’t hate men. But most men hate feminists for sure. The thing is, there’s a problem on both sides. If we talk about women, many of them have completely changed feminism. They are using it according to THEIR needs. What is feminism exactly? Full social, economical, and political equality for women. That’s it. Isn’t it simple? But it is hard for many men and women to understand this simple definition. Many feminists have gone so far that they have become the ones they used to hate. They are the ones who use the term “it’s her choice,” but also judge you if you like wearing desi clothes, judge if you want to become a housewife, judge you if you prefer daal chawal over steak, and judge you if you show love and affection to your husband or respect him or take his name as a surname. What kind of feminist are you? Even you’re not sticking to your “it’s her choice” slogan, then how do you think others will understand that? The point is, you’re not becoming modern; you’re becoming conservative. The problem with many men is that no matter what, as soon as you say the “F” word, there’s a whole new level of argument. I don’t understand what’s wrong with them. Why do they have so much problem with women working, studying, supporting their families, and wanting to do whatever they want without hurting anyone? Most men want their wives to be housewives, and the irony is, these same men are the ones who started degrading her, saying things like “tum tou ghar pe hee thi” and “tumne Sara din kia hee kia hai?” She is working a full-time job without any holidays. It’s not something to make her feel less about herself. Making jokes at your wife’s expense is so common in men of all generations. Even in today’s generation, they want respect from their wives, but it is so hard for them to return the same thing. Making fun of her and her family, making second marriage jokes, playing victim as if they are the only ones sacrificing their independence. What if she does the same in return? She’ll be considered a “badlihaaz badtameez aurat,” but why does it not make you a “badlihaaz badtameez mard”? Women don’t hate men; they hate such mindsets. Both genders deserve the same respect. Be proud of each other. Be thankful for the efforts of others, appreciate each other. It’s impossible to make these things understandable for previous generations, but today’s generation needs to change their mindsets and start supporting each other. Lastly, not all men and women are like these. I am not talking about everyone, but if the shoe fits, wear it, Cinderella.