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How To Be A Hipster Sufi In Ten Easy Steps

How To Be A Hipster Sufi In Ten Easy Steps


If you spent most of your childhood years letting yourself be silently drawn to the strange pull of what you really love (yes, I know that’s a Rumi quote and it’s there for a reason, you’ll see) , then you have come to the right place.

It is time to begin that long journey into yourself. It is time to let your inner Sufi free.



The following ten simple steps will set you on your path to Sufism:

  1. You must be equipped with a book like Eat Pray Love or The Forty Rules of Love at all times. Reading the book is optional. Just make sure you have it on your person no matter what. Paulo Coelho usually works too.
  2. Memorise a few quotes by Rumi and randomly interject them into conversations (just like I did in my intro. Now you get it!). Relevance to the topic at hand is not important. AT ALL. The less people can understand what you mean, the deeper and more Sufi-like they will think you are.
  3. Your choice in music should reflect your inner Sufi. No more Nicki Minaj for you. It’s Sufi Sal all the way, bitches. And make sure people know what you’re listening to. You’re not a real Sufi unless the world acknowledges it.
  4. Practise your I’m-a-Sufi face. This is of utmost importance. You have mastered this step when you can look insightful and calm even when you’re thinking about that nasty bit of gossip you just heard or have accidentally watched Bol Network for even a few minutes.
  5. Wear white. Only white.
  6. When you post photos on Instagram, especially selfies, make sure you add a quote to them. The quote must be very general and open to interpretation. For example, post a picture of yourself on holiday in Europe eating an ice cream. Caption should read something like: Raise your words, not your voice, for it is rain that grows flowers, not thunder. When in doubt, always go Rumi.
  7. Meditate. Sit in a spot. Try not to move. And think of all the random crap you can.
  8. Watch what you put into your system. Refined sugars and trans fats? Nah. Sushi and steamed veggies are for you.
  9. Invest in a few healing crystals. Don’t forget to charge your crystals to restore their energy by burying them in the ground at least once a month.
  10. Align your chakras.

If you have followed these steps, then congratulations! You are a hipster Sufi. Now, sing like the birds sing, not worrying who hears or what they think. See, Rumi always works.




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