Here’s why Rishta Aunty Culture is so messed up

Rishta Aunties are a big part of the desi community. We all had an encounter with them at least once in a lifetime. Rishta culture continues to uphold values. Many girls are unaware that many mothers and Rishta aunties make use of their profiles and are being watched by many random people which is a clear violation of privacy.  Moreover, dating apps are still considered as not the place where your mother would want you to be, that is helping Rishta aunties stay in business and charge lacs just to help two people communicate.  One of the most common phrases heard around the marriage process is “Shaadi dou logon ki nahin, dou khandanon ki hoti hai,” believing that our parents always know better than us. However, it is untrue at many events. You can always teach and guide your parents to something new every day.  We used to go crazy over “Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayengay,” but in reality, the idea of a love marriage hasn’t found weight in Pakistan. Not only do parents want the bride or groom of their own choice, but also the fact that he earns well and she knows how to make “gol rotis.”  The need to have a fair bahu is still there even though, no offense, the guy is not that good-looking. The point is that who cares about these facial features which are temporary? Jhuriyan ajayengi, boorhey hojogay, all this beauty, all this handsomeness will go to waste. So rather than questioning, “Apki beti gori toh haina?” Rishta Aunties should ask “Apki beti dil ki achi toh haina?” But who cares about the heart when there’s a face to judge?  The News reported that the Sociologist Dr. Zakria Zakar said: “We claim that our society is opening up, but that seems to be restricted to fancy new buildings and cars. The reality is that, as people, we are still exceedingly patriarchal in our views.”  However, men wanting to control women isn’t the only reason that this system exists. Firstly, the joint-family system is on the decline and people have fewer children now which means there are fewer options for marriage within the “community and caste.” And therefore, enter Rishta Aunties with the Rishta requirements that include: “gori ho, patli ho, doctor ho lekin ghar ka kaam karay.”  Furthermore, rishta culture stands on perspectives that deny changing the society and social structures that are powerless against rapidly evolving family dynamics and cultures. Op-ed by Zahra Shamil Picture source: Neemopani.com