How many times have you had a shower time concert and thought “Wah, I could be the next Adele or The Weeknd”? Half of the reason behind being a successful musician, (disregarding talent because who needs it when you have autotune), is having the aesthetic to go with it. If you are a rockstar but no one can tell, how will a recording studio approach you and say “Let me make you the next Pakistani idol?”
To be a musician you have to feel like a musician, so here is a list of 11 items perfect for every pseudo Pakistani Idol aspirant.
1. To be a famous musician you have to look like a famous musician
Your “I’m a celebrity” persona is incomplete without a staple look. Every aspiring musician needs to own at least one denim jacket for that fresh look. Furor Jeans (@furorjeans) is the perfect denim shop for you to curate your popstar aesthetic. Word of advice, only buy it if you’re going to pair it with everything. Doesn’t matter if it’s shorts or shalwar kameez, a true aspiring Pakistani musician (read: aitchisonian) will never be seen without his jacket (read: coat).
Buy yours here and upload your very first Instagram picture, which will be remembered in a thousand “#tbt”s, here!
2. The headphones around your neck should be visible from Mars
For musicians, headphones are the equivalent of neck pillows. A musician always needs a source with which they can appreciate their art. It doesn’t matter if you’ve dug them up from a century-old cabinet, you need to have headphones. However, to save you from the embarrassment of having to put your phone to your ear every time you have to listen to something, these headphones from Telemart (@telemartofficial) have you covered.
The purple ones are a personal favourite because of them being so…eggplant-y. Shop here!
3. Men, if women don’t go crazy over a glimpse of an earring, you have failed
Women already know how to accessorise but men, on the other hand, tend to fall a little short. The best thing to do would be to get a classic hoop earring on one side. Now, real silver and gold are expensive and if your dad ever sees the earring you’re going to be put out on the streets. An easy fix is to buy these clip-on nose rings from J.S Jewellery Store (@jewellerystore.pk) for women and just clip them onto your ear. No one will be able to tell the difference (but you’ll know).
Buy yours here and watch how the women begin crowding (the exits)!
4. Every musician needs an instrument
Your fans need to know that you can play, sing and act so that they can combat your Twitter haters. To do this, you needed to start practicing yesterday and that too with an instrument that’s not a guitar. But, with high hopes of learning the piano in a week, you can buy this toy grand piano set from Planet X (@planetx.pk) and get to moseeqi right now. Keeping the price point in mind, this toy piano set will fit right into your budget because you can’t spend cash you don’t have.
It is kid sized so it might be a tight fit but just fix your videos in post after shopping it here!
5. Your room should also scream “Music!” every time someone enters
Everyone knows a musician needs to have an aesthetically pleasing room, a little mess strewn about, a few guitars hanging in the back, and to show you’re a true appreciator of music: vinyl. These decorative vinyls from Vinylized (@vinylizedpk) are perfect for your room decor. They are customisable and specifically made for wall decor (because God forbid you actually appreciate vinyl).
Get yours here and let scream from the rooftops “True music is vinyl!”
6. Speaking of vinyls, you have to complete the set with a cute turntable as well
You don’t want people calling you out on your lies or your existence will become a scandal. To make the vinyl lie more believable get a vintage turntable from Shopping Bag (@shoppingbag.pk). Not only will it give your decor a boost, you can also practice being in a sad music video where you enter the room and dejectedly play a record on the turntable because, dard dilon ke kam nahin hou rahey.
Shop yours here and immediately win 500 musician points (you get a free chocolate shake on 1500).
7. When the paparazzi goes crazy for a photo of you, these sunglasses will protect you
Every single artist needs to own a pair of raybans. If you don’t have a selfie of yourself in the sun with the phone reflecting in the sunglasses, what’s even the point anymore? Ainak (@ainak.pk) has got the solution for all your rayban problems. No other sunglasses will work, you definitely want people to think you’re bad and boujee and not broke and miserly.
Get yours here and that’s half your Pakistani Idol application done!
8. Ripped jeans. That’s it.
If you don’t own ripped jeans you need to buy them right now. There’s no musician that doesn’t own a pair of ripped jeans. However, wearing them will definitely get you looks from all the aunties and uncles in your society. And you can’t have that because you need to win the hearts of the parents, so they send their children to your concerts. These ripped jeans but not really from Green Shoppy (@green_shoppy) are perfect for that!
Hide your knees from the mocking of the world by shopping here!
9. Tattoos maketh man
A true artist’s identity comes from the reality of his skin. Every musician, to show the world how unforgivingly musical their existence is, needs to have a tattoo that represents their art. Now, putting the pain of getting an actual tattoo aside, the pain from the flying slippers your mom will launch will remain with you forever. An easy one step solution to that is to get this Sakura IDENTI pen from The Ladybug Studios (@theladybugstudios) which is perfect for any surface or in your case skin.
Shop it here and save yourself from your mom’s “Why didn’t I die before seeing this day?”
10. You need to practice performing in front of an audience
If you’re a singer then your performance has to be modelled around holding a microphone. This karaoke microphone from iShopping (@ishoppingpk) will help you with your coordination and singing without opening your fists. Convince your family they’ll just have to suffer through a few years of your loud singing. Bribing might work.
Buy it here and become a lead singer in spirit!
11. Every artist needs their motivation
If you haven’t gotten your heartbroken yet, it’s time. All your lyrics, melodies and the tenor of your voice have to scream “I’m in pain”! You can’t really buy heartbreak from anywhere but if you want an article about “10 ways to get your heartbroken” comment here!
Start your heartbreak journey by sliding into those dms here!
All products are selected by the editors.