Divorce ≠ دھبہ

In the conservative society we live in, divorce is equal to dhabba !  If we talk about Islam, divorce is the most unlikable act in Islam but despite being an “Islamic” society, Pakistan has an increasing trend of divorce. Almost 60% of Pakistanis stated that the divorce rate has increased in the country.  There are said to be many reasons behind such a trend. But at the end of the day, “ghalti larki ki hogi.” The reasons range from domestic abuse to possessing different perceptions about life. Some people prefer to choose themselves over toxic relationships. But whoever initiates the divorce proceedings, typically and very commonly, the woman is blamed, especially if she is educated and a professional in the patriarchal society of Pakistan. It’s as if being literate, educated, and choosing yourself is a crime. We have also witnessed that mistakenly, male chauvinists regard such women who are independent enough to take decisions are not only admirers of Western ethos but also as threats to stereotypical practices and traditions. Basically, these types of women are a threat to their masculinity and the patriarchal society. “Iski himmat kese hui!” This is the reaction of most men.  Moreover, The Nation reported that, as per the media sources, for a single month of January 2022, in Rawalpindi alone, the family court issued 11 notices of Khula, while in 74 cases husbands filed for divorce. These statistics note that the main contender for filing a divorce are still husbands, which in many cases are ‘unilateral’ in nature. It is mainly because men in our society are reassured that “tumharay liye dusri le ayengay.” It is very easy for men to remarry in Pakistan whereas women are carrying the label of “divorcee” and people don’t really want their bahu to be a divorcee because, of course, it is a dhabba for a woman, right?  Secondly, at times, families and friends play a significant role in unfolding the differences between the couples. Forced marriages are another main factor apart from many others that have added to the reasons why the divorce rate is increasing in Pakistan. There are said to be immense reasons. The point is that someone is suffering from something and chooses to get out of it but our society judges the entire character of the person without considering the fact that they are unaware of the other side of the story. Therefore, we should try to avoid judging others for their respective decisions and pray for betterment in their lives.