Authors note: The following is a work of satire, keep your pants on will you.
The author, Hamza Ghaznavi, can be followed on Twitter at @Hamza_Ghaznavi
It’s been a while since I’ve written to you. I will say you have gone a bit distant with me over the past few years. I don’t blame you, I never blame you. You should know that.
You should also know that I’m heading a 9 party strong alliance against the powers that be. Can you imagine, me? Told you I’d surprise you. Talking about surprises, you and I have more in common than you might think. Both of us don’t really care about this crescent now do we, oh and we both love oil. I love it so much, people have given named me after it! All I need is your blessing now and well you know some dollars. Give me enough and I promise to add your colours to the star of purity as well!
Also you don’t have to worry about getting caught cause no one really thinks I’m capable of pulling anything off anyway! It’s perfect I’m telling you.
P.S I’ve been practicing YMCA for a while and I think I’ve gotten good in it aswell.