While Malik Riaz deliberates over paying a PKR 1 billion fine or otherwise building an entire dam complete with a mall, green valley and mosque, our CJP has made an equally ambitious statement. Breaking headlines this Saturday, Justice Saqib a.k.a Maula Judge called on all schools to include ‘Dam Building 101’ in the curriculum. The announcement was made in the wee hours of the morning to a ghostwriter reportedly working on his memoirs.

“I have a dream that one day, one kid in every household can build a dam. And for those who ask me why, I only have one answer: kya ap pani ke khilaf hai?”

Schools seem uncertain on the exact execution of the requisite course content but were encouraged by the rhetoric.

“Unlike the BDC school system, we have no anti-state agenda. We are pro-Pakistan and definitely pro-pani, and we embrace all policy that supports our core values,” the Principal of CBD school said.

While the Chief Justice’s lofty mission has received criticism over it’s feasibility, many are ecstatic about the new project. In an interview, a Naya Pakistan optimist confidently stated, “Impossible is nothing but a patwaris dream.” Another fan recently tweeted:

“I have seen this great nation making nuclear bombs, winning the world cup and making cars run on water. If we can do all this, kids in our schools can definitely learn how to make a dam. #NAYAPAKISTAN” (He later deleted the tweet after being confronted with facts on water-fueled cars – they don’t exist )

The Chief Justice also warned reporters that, “There are also those people who don’t want to see this country prosper and will try to make fun of me, and the media should be weary of that.” The media seems well aware of the potential for ridicule, but has refrained from capitalizing on it thus far.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to judges or politicians are intentional.