Speaking to journalists at a press conference outside Larkana, Pakistan People’s Party (PPP) chairman, Bilawal Bhutto announced that after long and protracted negotiations with Asif Ali Zardari he had received permission to attend his childhood friend’s birthday party in Lahore. “The party has decided that I can travel to Punjab and has also given me the authority to pick out the birthday gift.” The visibly elated Bilawal spent the rest of the conference wondering how his friend Zulfi’s birthday party will revitalize all partying in Punjab and bring about a change that harkens back to the days of his grandfather, Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto, who was an accomplished party animal; “it will be legendary saeen”

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, several party members told the media that Bilawal will not be going alone. “The last time Bilawal was left alone in the house, he tried to fire the gardener and the driver, not to mention all the china plates that he broke”. Party stalwarts like Qaim Ali Shah – whose only engagement these days is growing a vegetable garden in his backyard – have agreed to accompany the party chairman on this trip as a chaperone. “Despite our leader’s enthusiasm, we have been informed by Mr. Zardari to keep a tight leash on the finances and bring Bilawal home before midnight.”

Before leaving to get ready, Bilawal instructed Uncle Murad Ali Shah to locate the Superman shirt he wore to the Sindh Festival. However, sources suggest that the shirt has been burned on the orders of Mr Zardari, who instructed Murad Ali Shah to make sure Bilawal wears an Ajrak instead.