After being ousted a few weeks ago, former Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif is once again in the midst of another controversy. This time it’s a battle of fruits. The honorable Supreme Court in a recent verdict declared that the Banana, presented as evidence by the defense, is not a fruit. The Apex court declared that Article 290 of 1973 Constitution identifies bananas as a contraband item.
Nawaz’s lawyers aka the dream team reached out to ProperGaanda to share their side of story. “After a series of political and health scares Nawaz became too depressed,” they say. “Watching Imran Khan still benefiting from Pakistan’s only World Cup win, has Nawaz worried about his legacy. And all because the black market sale of nuclear arms tarnished the atomic legacy and the CPEC is bitch-slapping his precious motorways,” shared Nawaz’s lawyers. He has since been advised a strict banana diet as this fruit has countless health benefits.
The shrewd prosecutor presented well documented research from the Cosmopolitan Magazine: the decades long research concludes that bananas are the absolute worst and not a reliable source of evidence. “They are taking away the only thing mattered to Nawaz, his bananas,” concludes the team.
In an exclusive message Nawaz relays on:
“SC is biased, they never let me finish a term in office. I had sincerely hoped this time around it would be different. I am neither a President nor a General so why did they remove me from office? For I am an honest tax paying citizen. The whole panama and banana fiasco is Imran’s chaal, I know it, I just can’t prove it. “
He continues by questioning the behaviour of the Chief Justice with the media- “Somehow I am the bad guy. There is a reason for three independent state bodies; they aren’t supposed to meddle in others’ affairs. But the Supreme Court is so unconstitutional on so many levels in my case”, says Nawaz.
“Justice is not blind and we have proof,” says the dream team.”The court says it is unbiased, but they are lying and the defense plans to present the following photo in evidence.”
Initially Nawaz’s doctor had recommended apples. But while reminiscing about his childhood Qari lessons, Nawaz educated the doctor on how apples are evil by narrating the story of Adam and Eve. Nawaz thought he dodged a bullet there by avoiding religious scorn but now he recognises he was doomed anyway. The Panama papers cost him his office and the banana idea cost him his party leadership.