Author: Hamza Ghaznavi
Dear white saviours, We’re terribly sorry but please keep your opinions to yourselves; you see, white saviours sharing their opinions has never brought anyone any good. From the first ship of looting thieves that docked ...
Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire. Follow the author, H. Ghaznavi here on Twitter. Dear Dada, It’s been a while since I’ve written to you. In the current scheme of things it seems ...
Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire. Take a joke, it won’t hurt. Dear Papa, How’s your blood pressure? Hope the luxe life of Avenfeild apartments is still keeping you cozy – like a ...
Authors note: The following is a work of satire, keep your pants on will you.The author, Hamza Ghaznavi, can be followed on Twitter at @Hamza_Ghaznavi Dear Sam, It’s been a while since I’ve written to ...
Authors note: The following is a work of satire, keep your pants on will you.The author, Hamza Ghaznavi, can be followed on Twitter at @Hamza_Ghaznavi Dear Dad, WTF? Even Sheru seems to be constantly barking ...
Note from author: The following is a work of satire, in case the letter-writing-dog didn’t give it away. Try not to take offence. To my hooman Imran, Remember when we used to spend time together ...
Authors note: The following is a work of satire, keep your pants on will you.The author, Hamza Ghaznavi, can be followed on Twitter at @Hamza_Ghaznavi Dear Dad, It has been a while since I’ve written ...
A Brutally Murdered Female Student’s Body found Dumped Road Side in Faisalabad
Congratulations to America for choosing a woke hypocrite over an outright racist. It’s a victory for the United State’s fight in restoring democracy no doubt, but the fact is a majority of US presidents have ...
I recently came across a story about a child in Pakistan who was taught by her mother that a potato is actually a boti because they couldn’t afford chicken and she didn’t want her child ...
Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire, learn to take a joke. If this hurts your feelings, please don’t reach out to us. Dear Dad, I know you might be a little stressed out today, ...
Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire, learn to take a joke. If this hurts your feelings, please don’t reach out to us. Dear Dad! Hey hey! Hope all is well. So today they banned ...
Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire, learn to take a joke. If this hurts your feelings, please don’t reach out to us. Dear Dad, Hope you are well. We couldn’t meet this weekend ...
It’s a story I’ve been told a hundred times, to have a meal on your table for your family to feast on is a luxury. To only eat half way although you struggled to bring ...
“It was the smell that was the worst. In this dusty camp on Pakistan’s border with Iran, which at one stage held more than 6,000 people, the stench of sweat, rubbish and human excrement hung in ...
The last few weeks, there’s been nothing on the news other than coronavirus. And rightfully so. Because the virus is spreading rapidly and measures need to be taken to curb it. However, along with legit ...
On Monday, for the first time since the pandemic started, a human trial of a potential vaccine to COVID-19 was carried out in a medical centre in Seattle. The vaccine was developed by the National ...
Pakistan is home to several religious minorities, notably the Hindus, Sikhs and Christians. It is also home to a tiny 200 member Jewish community which is scattered all over the country. This is their story. ...
Alvis Kernel, a Canadian resident with roots in Hong Kong, was reportedly denied a seat in the uber due to his Asian ethnicity as mass hysteria kicks in
In the last week, COVOID-19 has gotten new notoriety, forcing world leaders into isolation, resulting in cancellation of sport leagues, restricting world travel and causing the market to plunge. All these things are bad, terrible, ...
Two extremely rare white giraffes have been killed by poachers in north-eastern Kenya, conservationists say. What happened? Rangers had found the carcasses of the female and her calf in a village in Kenya A third ...
Saudi Arabia’s two most prominent royals were suddenly detained on Friday morning reportedly by masked royal guards and face up to a lifetime in prison for alleged treason. Go Deeper: Even by Crown Prince Mohamed bin ...
Going to Malaysia might upset God and Bank, PM Khan learns on Umrah. After much controversy Prime Minister Khan took out time and talked to media about not attending the Malaysian summit. “When his highness ...
As lawyers barged into the Punjab Institute of Cardiology and killed 12 patients, because they were ripped off for 20 rupees, new report suggests the task wasn’t that hard. “As lawyers we are proud to ...
In protest against his unceremonious exit from office, Director General (DG) Federal Investigation Agency (FIA), Bashir Ahmed Memon has submitted his resignation only days before his retirement date on December 17, 2019. On Monday, Memon ...
China on Sunday put into effect new regulations that require Chinese telecom carriers to scan the faces of users registering new mobile phone services, a move the government says is aimed at cracking down on ...
NEW DELHI: Indian surgeons have cut a kidney weighing the same as a bowling ball out of a man with a life-threatening genetic condition. The 7.4-kilogramme (16.3-pound) kidney is one of the biggest ever removed ...
Pakistani animated film The Donkey King will be releasing in theatres in Russia on December 5th. After getting its release to audiences in Spain and South Korea, Pakistani animated movie ‘The Donkey King’ will be ...
“You will soon see female judges in the Supreme Court of Pakistan”, said Chief Justice Asif Saeed Khosa to a conference of women in Lahore, on Sunday. Addressing the conference, the chief justice spoke about ...
Prime Minister Imran Khan on Sunday said a “comprehensive and enforceable code of conduct” was required before student unions were restored across the country. In a post on his Twitter account, PM Imran said the ...
LONDON: Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn on Sunday blasted The United Kingdom’s foriegn policy. He said the threat of terrorism and extremism has been “fuelled” by the United Kingdom’s foreign policy, which supports foreign invasions and ...
British media said Sunday the London Bridge attacker, Usman Khan, was a known extremist who preached hate with Daesh and Al-Muhajiroun flags on the streets of Central England. Troubling signs from the start UK media ...
KARACHI: The Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) has started reaching out to allies as the government looks to amend the Army Act to continue General Bajwa’s extension beyond six months. Foreign Minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi met a ...
The following statements were made by representatives of the PTI government in the span of two weeks: Zatraj Gul, PTI Climate Minister: “Lahore doesn’t have a smog problem” Hafeez Shaikh, prime minister’s financial adviser: “Tomatoes ...
Famed actor, PTI celebrity supporter, confused and self proclaimed messiah, Hamza Ali Abaasi, taking que from Kanye West has bid farewell to acting in a video message. But into the 6th minute of the video, ...
The current chief selector and coach of Pakistan cricket team announced himself as the 12th man of the team for the second half of the Australian cricket series, in light of Pakistan’s dismal performance. Misbah claims he’s already the Coach and ...
This article is published in partnership with swvl. Cairo based swvl, Egypt’s first tech unicorn, plans to mobilise half a million Pakistanis by 2023. How do they plan to achieve this? The company plans to ...
After Shahbaz Sharif’s no show from almost everywhere that PML-N might have needed support, reports suggest that Shahbaz Sharif spine may still not be fixed (physically and morally). ProperGaanda has come to learn that it ...
Express Tribune after taking cue from other traditional media outlets and firing most of its journalists, are now making further in roads for expansion. One of them is hiring a fresh business school graduate, who ...
Ex-President Mamnoon Hussain, who was famously irrelevant in his time as the President of Pakistan, is reported to still be pretty much irrelevant. According to sources, he reminisces the time when at least he was ...
A Local Liberal Arts Student and part time Social Media Wokest Person Alive sent out an array of tweets describing her shock at the Azaadi March, when she saw there were only men with sticks ...
Ali Zar Chusu, a recent LUMS graduate and a part-time shoda has been reported to mention “LUMS” 20 times when talking to a girl at a birthday of his friend’s friend at Bedian.”I really don’t ...
The man who preferred to remain anonymous but yet conveniently shared his picture reportedly still believes Lahore School of Economics (also dubbed as Lahore School for Everyone by some) gave him stellar education. While talking ...
After the Government, the armed forces and basically most of Maulana’s friend gave him a shutup a call on his planned halloween party, Maulana got another bad news today. His Doctor diagnosed him with Tinkafitus, ...
30 year old social media page admin of “Pakistan is the best!” after 7 years, still thinks it’s a viable business! He’s gone to extreme lengths for people to take him seriously. He reportedly has growing ...
Another survey done on yet another random Internet page reports; Pakistani Men enjoy porn much more than Item numbers and surprisingly it doesn’t piss them off. The result comes in at a time when nation is ...
A few days ago Dawn News took down the article talking about Jami’s rape accusation against a big media tycoon (Hint Hint: he’s related to Dawn). After lot of hue and cry, Dawn News and ...
As the economic crises grows, Pakistani Prime Minister has appealed to Pakistani expats and anyone with money to basically think of Pakistan as charity box where you can put all your charity in. In an ...
Pakistanis, in large numbers, rushed to their lawyers offices’ with their Canadian Immigration Applications as they heard about Trudeau’s win. “My lawyer kept on telling me that Trudeau might not win so apply quickly but ...
The current chief selector and coach of Pakistan cricket team, for the sake of doing something even more radical for the upcoming Australian cricket series announced himself as the 12th man of the team. Misbah ...
Editors Note: This article is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke – literally. ‘The Nation’ which is one of Pakistan’s oldest running news paper has evolved quite a bit over the past ...
Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) has insisted that its players did not stay out of the team hotel beyond the curfew time the night before the World Cup game against India after videos circulated on social media claimed ...
After retirement from the Information Ministry, Fawad Chaudry as Federal Minister for science and technology has already introduced a website and a mobile app, and now their latest invention Rate An Imam! Rate an Imam, ...
Ahead of the nail biter between India and Pakistan, the tickets for the much anticipated clash has been sold out. Abhinandan the famous chai drinking Indian Airforce Pilot – who crashed inside Pakistan while trying ...
A recent study done by an online portal recentstudiesfindingjackshit.com, found that both the demand and supply of memes have increased exponentially over the last two years. One of the reasons is shear rise in stupidity and idiocaracy on the part of everyone in the country! “Khadim Rizvi and Faisal Vawda both played ...
DG ISPR Asim Ghafoor called on the major news publications today to thank them for being “So Understanding” in these times of crisis, shared the DG ISPR via twitter. While talking to media later, Asim ...
Last week in an interview with Shahzaib Khanzada, Ali Zafar, who wants everyone to know he has worked with ‘beautiful Bollywood actress’, got very emotional when the issue of his alleged inappropriate behaviour with women ...
On Monday evening, a structure older than all your grannies and grandpas combined caught fire while the super expensive 163 million dollar renovations were taking place! Yikes. The building was none other than Notre-Dame: an ...
Major English and Urdu newspapers in occupied Kashmir on Sunday published blank front pages in protest against the Indian State government’s suspension of advertising to two local English dailies – Greater Kashmir and Kashmir Reader.
The Indian CM Mamata Banerjee made some hard hitting remarks against the Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi of ‘doing opportunistic politics over the dead bodies’ of Indian Armed forces. The popular CM vowed to remove ...
Punjab Chief Minister, Usman Buzdar, has asked Fayazul Hassan Chohan to hand in his resignation from his post as Provincial Information and Culture Minister over his anti-Hindu remarks, sources have confirmed. “The Punjab CM sought ...
On Monday, Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf’s official account tweeted Prime Minister Imran Khan’s message in Hindi and Twitterati on both sides of the border went crazy. Sharing Imran’s earlier tweet on Nobel Prize, PTI tweeted: “मैं नोबेल ...
Did you know who was the woman accompanying the captured Indian Pilot Abhinandan? Well, get ready to be blown away. (For the dramatic effects) Who is she? She is Dr Fariha Bugti, one of Pakistan’s ...
Hamza Ali Abassi, popular actor and well known supporter of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf on Thursday night tweeted what we think was supposed to be a heartfelt message. The tweet was directed at the son of the ...
As tensions escalate between the two nuclear nations, Nobel Laureate Malala Yousafzai took to twitter to share a message of peace. Malala tweeted with the hashtag #SayNoToWar which has been trending on twitter for the ...
Lot has happened since India violated Pakistan’s airspace and dropped the payload. For one, they violated the Air Space again. Here are all the major headlines that took over after. Pakistan will respond to uncalled-for ...
The International Olympic Committee has suspended all Indian applications to host future events and urged international sports federations not to stage competitions in the country after two Pakistanis were denied visas to compete in New ...
The Cola Wars have begun While the PSL teams will be competing on the pitch starting tomorrow, the cola wars have officially begun behind the scenes. The two cola giants, Pepsi and Coca Cola, have gone ...
All India Bakchod, a group of comedians, took India by storm in the recent years. And in the time of social media, their influence crept through the borders as well. Their fame escalated after they ...
2018 was the bloodiest year in Kashmir's history with 324 people dead, including women and children. Analysts have predicted 2019 to be worst.
1947 The year marked the end of British rule and partition of sub-continent into mainly Hindu majority India and the Muslim majority state of Pakistan. Late 1947 The Maharaja of Kashmir signs a treaty of ...
On the 2nd of February, Arman Luni was killed in an alleged police encounter in the Loralai district of Balochistan. Luni, was a senior member of the Pashtun Tahafuz Movement (PTM), a nationalist movement launched ...
The Pakistani music scene has always had an edge over our neighbours across the border. But somewhere in the middle that absolutely raw talent stalled and we started lacking a fresh new wave of talent. ...
A few days ago a news anchor, Arif Hameed Bhatti, who claims to be a journalist on an ARY News show called ‘The Reporters’, tried his level best to scar a child psychologically and emotionally ...
Suleman woke up at 8 am to the usual loud bell by ‘Baji Rakshanda’, the house maid. As Suleman cursed the maid and gasped his first yawn, something dawned on him: it was 2019! A ...
I attended a start-up cup a few days ago representing ProperGaanda. The competition had about a dozen sponsors from different incubators and partner networks, and a main sponsor of the U.S Embassy. They even sent ...
Yesterday, Rushaan Farrukh, a student of Beaconhouse National University allegedly committed suicide. The Punjab Police is yet to say anything on the matter (Ofcourse) Her friends and family have also gone on social media to ...
Since picking up a wrench as one of the first female car mechanics in Pakistan, Uzma Nawaz has faced two common reactions: shock and surprise, and then a bit of respect. Mechanic Uzma Nawaz, 24, ...
While Malik Riaz deliberates over paying a PKR 1 billion fine or otherwise building an entire dam complete with a mall, green valley and mosque, our CJP has made an equally ambitious statement. Breaking headlines ...
In the wee hours of the morning, Prime Minister Imran Khan was rushed to the nearest hospital via a helicopter. Rest assured, Fawad Chaurdhary – a man known to stick to his word through thick and ...
Lahore: On Thursday night, when Shaani called Maani, two residents and friends from Old Lahore, they decided to go out and have dinner. As always both friends expected dinner to end with a discussion on ...
As Khan gears up to take the oath of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, he has called on his party and the nation to throw away ‘Purani Jhandiyan’ and buy new ones with better graphics ...
New York: Islamophobia never really finished, but in the words of Kumail Nanjani “it’s really having a moment right now”. While people are protesting and fighting the racists left, right and center, there is a ...
While Imran Khan is yet to be officially sworn in as Prime Minister of Pakistan, the rumours coming out of Party (G)HQ are that Khan is thinking of taking Hamza Ali Abassi with him on ...
While many rejoiced over Imran Khan’s victory as Pakistan’s new PM, the celebrations halted for some. Thursday morning, when the youngsters and bikers of Pindi also known as “Pindi Boyz” woke up, they were happy to ...
It has finally happened. Imran Khan, the former Pakistan skipper, alleged womanizer, and the right’s prodigal son has won the elections. There have been many twists and turns, may I dare use the word “U-Turns”, ...
Last Sunday, Sheikh Rasheed pulled off another stunt in Lal Haveli The Awaami Muslim League party president, also known as the party that is always running with the tide, was seen wheeling his way through the ...
Last Saturday, the Chief Justice, while being chauffeured to the supreme court in his people’s mobile – a bullet proof Mercedes – was held up due to the road block caused by the Pashtun March. ...
The Chief Justice of Pakistan, Mian Saqib Nisar held a press conference today, asking for Dawn’s clarification on misreporting his coat’s brand. The clarification the Chief Justice demands is of a news report in Dawn ...
Disclaimer: Any views expressed in this article belong solely to the writer and are not a reflection of the views supported by ProperGaanda itself. Michael Hart had to make a difficult decision when deciding on ...
Today’s daily news in digestible bullets; Man killed, four injured in cross-border firing by Indian forces, Bonhomie marks opening of TAPI gas pipeline, Careem captain found murdered in Islamabad’s Sector G-13, ‘Training elements, not fighting force being sent to ...
A local debater from Defence Housing Authority recently confessed to a biting truth – He hasn’t won a single argument with his parent since the day he was conceived. Ali Aslam apart from having two ...
Today’s News in Daily Digestible Bullets covering; After 15 years, Lyari Expressway finally becomes fully operational, Qadri shelves protest policy, seeks legal solution to Model Town incident, Karachi youth Intizar’s father wants son’s murder case ...
Yesterday, the hashtag #GameOverKhoonLeague started trending on Twitter. Tahir-ul-Qadri has called on his supporters to protest in Lahore against PML-N, over the Model Town Massacre. Supporters of other parties have joined him. While Tahir-ul-Qadri’s demands ...
Overview Pakistan Muslim League Nawaz (PML-N) and Pakistan Tehreek-i-Insaf (PTI) have gone all out for the by-election in Chakwal’s PP-20, which is scheduled for today. This election might set up the course in the district ...
Mohammed Ali Jinnah was born on December 25, 1876, in an ordinary but comfortable household in Karachi, which was then part of the Bombay Presidency in British India. Interestingly, his birthplace was not far from where ...
Mahnoor Zaidi, an aspiring film maker and a recent graduate of York Film School in Canada, will be having a screening for her latest documentary “Dust to Dust” on this coming Sunday in Lahore – ...
On 3rd December 2017, which was also the official global Human Rights Day, Raza Mahmood Khan went to a talk on extremism held amid the recent Islamabad 20-day sit-in by Tehreek-e-Labaik Ya Rasool Allah (TLYRA) ...
While many rejoiced over the news of load-shedding finishing, a local man in Lahore wasn’t all that happy. He supposedly is one of many to have requested Pemra to disallow the news to be delivered ...
Yesterday, the TLYRA started a protest outside a local hospital in Lahore, demanding the Health Minister’s resignation. The protestors emerged after a news release about a new born failed to confirm the finality of Prophet ...
Dear Dairy, It’s been xyz days since I was stripped of my Prime Minister title. I’m no more the Premier, but a man who watches movie premiers from time to time. Unfortunately, I don’t get ...
Imran Khan and his party, Pakistan Tehreek-i-Insaaf (PTI), dominated the political landscape in the 2010 elections; I still remember his rally at Minar-e-Pakistan in Lahore, with students pouring out from jam-packed buses. Pakistan hadn’t seen ...
Last night in a high-profile meeting at Bani Gala, Imran Khan, the supreme leader of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf asked his party workers to address him as “Prime Minster”. Imran khan arrived at the decision supposedly after ...
Sharmeen Obaid’s latest tweets resulted in a doctor from Karachi’s prestigious hospital getting fired. This incident took the Pakistani cyber-space by surprise and also started a chain of awkward “hmmm okay” reactions. A young nurse ...
Two days ago, the ex-premier of the country Nawaz Sharif called the Interior Ministry to ensure that the missing PML-N online social media activists be released. He further talked about why freedom of speech is important ...
Pakistani politicians’ relationship with the armed forces is similar to Laila Majnu’s love story, in a way that both have disastrous endings! Obviously, there are major differences as well. If we assume Pakistan Army to ...
A teenaged Christian boy was beaten to death by six policemen on October 9 in Jabbran district in Pakistan’s Sheikhupura area in Punjab, rights organizations said. Arslan Masih was an 8th grader at Government High ...
We’ve seen them dancing at weddings, draped in sequinned dresses and flashy costume jewelry, and shooed them away when they’ve approached us for loose change on busy street corners. We’ve heard about them living on ...
A Lahore based writer has gone into depression because she couldn’t find the 9th point for her listicle. The incident happened when she was completing her listicle “9 things the colour of your poop can ...
Maryam Nawaz is off to London The dust from NA-120 has hardly settled and Maryam Nawaz is off to London. Currently the whole Sharif Family is there visiting Kulsoom Nawaz. The NAB references are out and ...
17-year-old Sharoon Masih was ruthlessly murdered on 28th August 2017. He fell victim to faith-based barbarism by his own classmates, that too within the walls of his own school. ProperGaanda has been following the story ...
Nawaz Sharif might have been ousted as the Prime Minister of Pakistan, but that does not mean he’s out of the spotlight. After his recent march to the poor man’s Westeros, he’s made sure of ...
Hi, I’m Tommy. You know, “Tommy”. From “Humara kuta Kuta, aur tumhara kuta Tommy”. I am what every dog dreams to be – I am a rich man’s dog. I am not like you regular ...
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