June 23, 2021

A mullah can rape a child for as low as Rs. 50,000

How do Madrassasah’s work in Pakistan Madrassas whatever side of the fence we might stand are a reality in a country like Pakistan. There are more than 22,000 registered madrassas in the Country. The students they teach are often among the poorest, who receive food. education and many a times accommodation for free. Many more […]

May 23, 2021

Israel’s influence on US media and politics is very real, and it’s about time we are able to talk about it

In an interview with Bianna Golodryga from CNN on Thursday, 20 May, Foreign Minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi’s argument took a turn when Golodryga accused Qureshi of being anti-semitic. In the following minutes, instead of discussing Israel’s actions and the human rights violations in Gaza, Golodryga kept circling back to the foreign minister’s remark that Israel […]

April 1, 2021

Dear white saviours, we’re terribly sorry but please keep your opinions to yourselves

Dear white saviours, We’re terribly sorry but please keep your opinions to yourselves; you see, white saviours sharing their opinions has never brought anyone any good. From the first ship of looting thieves that docked at the subcontinent’s shores in the 1600s to white tourists turned cultural commentators taking on the role of Pakistan’s saviours, […]

January 20, 2021

Dear Dada, it’s not the same anymore

Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire. Follow the author, H. Ghaznavi here on Twitter. Dear Dada, It’s been a while since I’ve written to you. In the current scheme of things it seems funny that I should reach out. Magar woh hamari aur wardi kai is anhokay piyar ko kahan samjhay gain. I […]

January 16, 2021

Dear Papa, thora kharcha bhej dain

Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire. Take a joke, it won’t hurt. Dear Papa, How’s your blood pressure? Hope the luxe life of Avenfeild apartments is still keeping you cozy – like a three time Prime Minister of a third world country should be. I haven’t seen your brother so much by the […]

January 11, 2021

Dear Sam, Sadi Bari?

Authors note: The following is a work of satire, keep your pants on will you.The author, Hamza Ghaznavi, can be followed on Twitter at @Hamza_Ghaznavi Dear Sam, It’s been a while since I’ve written to you. I will say you have gone a bit distant with me over the past few years. I don’t blame […]

January 10, 2021

Dear Dad, WTF?

Authors note: The following is a work of satire, keep your pants on will you.The author, Hamza Ghaznavi, can be followed on Twitter at @Hamza_Ghaznavi Dear Dad, WTF? Even Sheru seems to be constantly barking at me these days. I’m sorry, I don’t know if it’s just me but it feels like everyone is hating […]

January 4, 2021

Immi K’s dog writes a letter to his favourite hooman

Note from author: The following is a work of satire, in case the letter-writing-dog didn’t give it away. Try not to take offence. To my hooman Imran, Remember when we used to spend time together at Bani Gala? I’d lay down on the lush grass of the lawn and drool on your feet as you […]

December 27, 2020

Dad, r u there?

Authors note: The following is a work of satire, keep your pants on will you.The author, Hamza Ghaznavi, can be followed on Twitter at @Hamza_Ghaznavi Dear Dad, It has been a while since I’ve written to you. I’ve been reading this new book, ‘greatness of a sports captain’: it talks about what it takes to […]

November 8, 2020

Twitter: A Brutally Murdered Female Student’s Body found Dumped Road Side in Faisalabad

A Brutally Murdered Female Student’s Body found Dumped Road Side in Faisalabad

November 8, 2020

America thinks it made history with Biden’s win but the rest of the world is still recovering from Obama’s drone wars

Congratulations to America for choosing a woke hypocrite over an outright racist. It’s a victory for the United State’s fight in restoring democracy no doubt, but the fact is a majority of US presidents have been responsible for death and destruction in some part of the world, except the esteemed United States. Joe Biden is […]

October 20, 2020

Zombies, Maryam, Bilawal and Imran – who’ll lead us to the apocalypse?

I recently came across a story about a child in Pakistan who was taught by her mother that a potato is actually a boti because they couldn’t afford chicken and she didn’t want her child to feel that she was deprived of anything. This is a reality for most Pakistanis, not a minority but an […]

October 17, 2020

“I’m stressed out,” writes Immi K in a letter to his dad

Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire, learn to take a joke. If this hurts your feelings, please don’t reach out to us. Dear Dad, I know you might be a little stressed out today, so I wanted to reach out. That toad really crossed the line you know, calling you and others names. Honestly, […]

October 9, 2020

Immi K pens a letter to his dad on banning TikTok

Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire, learn to take a joke. If this hurts your feelings, please don’t reach out to us. Dear Dad! Hey hey! Hope all is well. So today they banned TikTok and when I asked, they were like I should speak to you. Lol like why would I need to, […]

October 8, 2020

Immi K pens a letter to his dad, thanking him for all his help

Disclaimer: The following is a work of satire, learn to take a joke. If this hurts your feelings, please don’t reach out to us. Dear Dad, Hope you are well. We couldn’t meet this weekend and you didn’t pick up my call yesterday so I thought I’ll just reach out to you the old traditional […]

July 7, 2020

Meet Tasleem Ejaz, The Breadwinning Woman

It’s a story I’ve been told a hundred times, to have a meal on your table for your family to feast on is a luxury. To only eat half way although you struggled to bring that food to the table is a sacrifice only the breadwinner of the house has to give but it is […]

March 22, 2020

Balochistan CM denies Gaurdian Taftan quarantine story, overwhelming evidence suggests otherwise

“It was the smell that was the worst. In this dusty camp on Pakistan’s border with Iran, which at one stage held more than 6,000 people, the stench of sweat, rubbish and human excrement hung in the air. There was no real housing, just five people to a ragged tent, and no bathrooms, towels or blankets.” […]

March 18, 2020

Yes, there is positive news around COVID-19

The last few weeks, there’s been nothing on the news other than coronavirus. And rightfully so. Because the virus is spreading rapidly and measures need to be taken to curb it. However, along with legit reporting there has been so much fake news circulating which has caused mass hysteria and panic. Everyone is pitching in […]

March 18, 2020

All the companies working on a COVID-19 vaccine and what we know about them so far

On Monday, for the first time since the pandemic started, a human trial of a potential vaccine to COVID-19 was carried out in a medical centre in Seattle. The vaccine was developed by the National Institute of Health (NIH) and a Massachusetts-based biotechnology company Moderna.  What we know about Moderna Moderna is possibly the first […]

March 17, 2020

The last Jews of Pakistan

Pakistan is home to several religious minorities, notably the Hindus, Sikhs and Christians. It is also home to a tiny 200 member Jewish community which is scattered all over the country. This is their story. First Look Pakistan’s small Jewish community gained attention when a Pakistani Jew, Fishel Benkhald, was reportedly allowed to undertake a […]

March 16, 2020

COVID-19:This person was just denied an Uber ride due to his ethnicity in Downtown Toronto

Alvis Kernel, a Canadian resident with roots in Hong Kong, was reportedly denied a seat in the uber due to his Asian ethnicity as mass hysteria kicks in

March 14, 2020

Yes, be cautious, but also chill bro

In the last week, COVOID-19 has gotten new notoriety, forcing world leaders into isolation, resulting in cancellation of sport leagues, restricting world travel and causing the market to plunge. All these things are bad, terrible, potentially disastrous – or whatever nasty acronym you can come up with. They all apply. But does that mean we […]

March 11, 2020

One White Giraffe Left in The World After Poachers Kill rest of them in Kenya

Two extremely rare white giraffes have been killed by poachers in north-eastern Kenya, conservationists say. What happened? Rangers had found the carcasses of the female and her calf in a village in Kenya A third white giraffe is still alive. It is said to be the only remaining one in the world. Why are they […]

March 7, 2020

Saudia Arabia Detains Its 2 Most Prominent Royals 

Saudi Arabia’s two most prominent royals were suddenly detained on Friday morning reportedly by masked royal guards and face up to a lifetime in prison for alleged treason. Go Deeper: Even by Crown Prince Mohamed bin Salman (MBS) this would be an daring move. The two men reportedly detained were both once heirs to the throne, […]

December 18, 2019

Malaysia visit may upset God and Bank, PM Khan learns during Umrah

Going to Malaysia might upset God and Bank, PM Khan learns on Umrah. After much controversy Prime Minister Khan took out time and talked to media about not attending the Malaysian summit. “When his highness Prince Bin Salman unexpectedly came to drive me to the airport after I performed my Umrah, I could tell he […]

December 13, 2019

As A Lawyer, Not Having A Heart Helped In Attacking A Hospital With Innocent Patients

As lawyers barged into the Punjab Institute of Cardiology and killed 12 patients, because they were ripped off for 20 rupees, new report suggests the task wasn’t that hard. “As lawyers we are proud to have no hearts, and that also makes it easy for us to attack even hospitals and innocent bed ridden patients,” […]

December 3, 2019

FIA Top Boss Resigns In Protest Over Alleged Refusal To Register Cases on Opposition Members

In protest against his unceremonious exit from office, Director General (DG) Federal Investigation Agency (FIA), Bashir Ahmed Memon has submitted his resignation only days before his retirement date on December 17, 2019. On Monday, Memon forwarded his resignation saying he decided to step down in protest against transfer from the current post at a time […]

December 3, 2019

China’s Facial Recognition Technology To Be Part of Residents Daily Life

China on Sunday put into effect new regulations that require Chinese telecom carriers to scan the faces of users registering new mobile phone services, a move the government says is aimed at cracking down on fraud. The rules, first announced in September, mean millions more people will come under the purview of facial recognition technology […]

kidney
December 2, 2019

Indian Doctors Remove A Giant 7.4kg Kidney From A Guy

NEW DELHI: Indian surgeons have cut a kidney weighing the same as a bowling ball out of a man with a life-threatening genetic condition. The 7.4-kilogramme (16.3-pound) kidney is one of the biggest ever removed in an operation. “It was a huge lump that was occupying half of his abdomen. We knew it was a […]

December 2, 2019

‘The Donkey King’ set to release in Mother Russia

Pakistani animated film The Donkey King will be releasing in theatres in Russia on December 5th. After getting its release to audiences in Spain and South Korea, Pakistani animated movie ‘The Donkey King’ will be releasing in theatres in Russia on December 5th. The film is directed by Aziz Jindani and has been released under […]

December 2, 2019

“You Will Soon See Female Judges In The Pakistan Supreme Court!” : CJP Khosa

“You will soon see female judges in the Supreme Court of Pakistan”, said Chief Justice Asif Saeed Khosa to a conference of women in Lahore, on Sunday. Addressing the conference, the chief justice spoke about how justice did not have any gender. “I heard a judge named Ayesha Malik being referred to as Mrs Ayesha […]

December 1, 2019

Government will establish a comprehensive code of conduct, learning from the best practices before student unions are restored : PM Khan

Prime Minister Imran Khan on Sunday said a “comprehensive and enforceable code of conduct” was required before student unions were restored across the country. In a post on his Twitter account, PM Imran said the government would establish a code of conduct that will be comprehensive and will imbibe learning practices from internationally-recognised universities. “Universities […]

December 1, 2019

Labour leader Blames UK Military Interventions For Fuelling Terrorism and Extremism

LONDON: Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn on Sunday blasted The United Kingdom’s foriegn policy. He said the threat of terrorism and extremism has been “fuelled” by the United Kingdom’s foreign policy, which supports foreign invasions and led to the Iraq war under his own party’s government — then headed by Tony Blair. The World’s Leading Sycophant […]

December 1, 2019

UK Media & Spies Agree Usman Khan Radicalised In UK

British media said Sunday the London Bridge attacker, Usman Khan, was a known extremist who preached hate with Daesh and Al-Muhajiroun flags on the streets of Central England. Troubling signs from the start UK media also highlighted that Khan had come to the British security services’ attention at the age of 15 but that no […]

December 1, 2019

PTI Starts Contacting Allies For The Much Anticipated Army Act Amendment

KARACHI: The Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf (PTI) has started reaching out to allies as the government looks to amend the Army Act to continue General Bajwa’s extension beyond six months. Foreign Minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi met a delegation of the Muttahida Quami Movement-Pakistan (MQM-P) on Sunday in Karachi. Qureshi and MQM-P leader Khalid Maqbool Siddiqui spoke to […]

November 27, 2019

Fools Republic of Pakistan

The following statements were made by representatives of the PTI government in the span of two weeks: Zatraj Gul, PTI Climate Minister: “Lahore doesn’t have a smog problem” Hafeez Shaikh, prime minister’s financial adviser: “Tomatoes are 17 Rupees per kilo” Ali Amin Gandapur, Federal Minister for Kashmir Affairs and Gilgit-Baltistan: “Inflation helps farmers” They sound […]

November 16, 2019

Hamza Ali Abassi promises to judge film industry severely while only accepting roles to play an alim

Famed actor, PTI celebrity supporter, confused and self proclaimed messiah, Hamza Ali Abaasi, taking que from Kanye West has bid farewell to acting in a video message. But into the 6th minute of the video, the actor takes a slight turn and announces “I don’t want to do any media roles btw, but as an […]

November 8, 2019

Misbah Appoints Himself As The 12th Man For Second Half Of Australian Tour

The current chief selector and coach of Pakistan cricket team announced himself as the 12th man of the team for the second half of the Australian cricket series, in light of Pakistan’s dismal performance. Misbah claims he’s already the Coach and the Chief Selector. “What is one more position going to do?!” exclaimed the ex-Pakistan Cricket team captain. Misbah said it’ll […]

November 8, 2019

Zartaj Gul To Run As A Joke In 2023 General Elections

It’s official, Zartaj will not only be not resigning but she has also cemented her plans to run in 2023 Elections as the official joke of the party. The minister excitedly gave the news through her twitter channel, expressing her appreciation to the party and its supreme leader, Imran Khan. Fawad vs Zartaj Reports suggest [...]
November 8, 2019

New Study Reveals Those Who Wander Are Most Definitely Lost

They say "Not all those who wander are lost" but a new not so baffling study states the opposite. This new study conducted at the top of a local Pub in London claims that most people who wander are in fact lost and in some cases serial killers, pedophiles or peeping toms. All good serial [...]
November 2, 2019

Egyptian Start-Up Swvl Plans to Invest $25 Million in Pakistan

This article is published in partnership with swvl. Cairo based swvl, Egypt’s first tech unicorn, plans to mobilise half a million Pakistanis by 2023. How do they plan to achieve this? The company plans to invest $25 million in Pakistan, which will in turn create more than 10,000 jobs every year. The news comes forth […]

shahbaz
October 31, 2019

PML-N Supporters Offer Their Own Spine To Shahbaz Sharif | The Gaanda

After Shahbaz Sharif’s no show from almost everywhere that PML-N might have needed support, reports suggest that Shahbaz Sharif spine may still not be fixed (physically and morally). ProperGaanda has come to learn that it might be because Shahbaz Sharif is always bending over backwards to other people’s wishes and over following of NAB cases, […]

October 31, 2019

Express Tribune Willing To Compromise on Journalism By 15 % For Every 100 Dollars | The Gaanda

Express Tribune after taking cue from other traditional media outlets and firing most of its journalists, are now making further in roads for expansion. One of them is hiring a fresh business school graduate, who is changing the way Tribune looks at advertisements i.e Dollars! “Times are changing, there is no such thing as proper […]

mamnoon
October 31, 2019

Former Pakistan President Mamnoon Hussain’s Life Reported To Be Still Irrelevant | The Gaanda

Ex-President Mamnoon Hussain, who was famously irrelevant in his time as the President of Pakistan, is reported to still be pretty much irrelevant. According to sources, he reminisces the time when at least he was being noted to have a fine taste in Dahi Bhallay. Mamnoon has also reportedly been known to attend nearby school […]

October 31, 2019

Super Woke Activist Shocked To The Core After Finding Out JUI-F Is Not Woke | The Gaanda

A Local Liberal Arts Student and part time Social Media Wokest Person Alive sent out an array of tweets describing her shock at the Azaadi March, when she saw there were only men with sticks in the march. “You know, it’s really shocking, like wtf. These men in beards don’t speak for me or any […]

October 28, 2019

Fresh Lums Graduate Breaks National Record For Mentioning “Lums” 20 Times In A Conversation With A Stranger | The Gaanda

Ali Zar Chusu, a recent LUMS graduate and a part-time shoda has been reported to mention “LUMS” 20 times when talking to a girl at a birthday of his friend’s friend at Bedian.”I really don’t know why he mentioned Lums at all, I was just wondering who this guy is and what the hell he […]

October 28, 2019

7 Years After Graduation, Lahore School of Economics Student Still Thinks He Got Quality Education 

The man who preferred to remain anonymous but yet conveniently shared his picture reportedly still believes Lahore School of Economics (also dubbed as Lahore School for Everyone by some) gave him stellar education. While talking to his best friend, also an LSE graduate told us “We have tried to tell him that LSE’s education was […]

October 28, 2019

Doctor Asks Maulana Fazl ur Rehman To Shave, After Dari Reported To Be Infested With Tinkas | The Gaanda

After the Government, the armed forces and basically most of Maulana’s friend gave him a shutup a call on his planned halloween party, Maulana got another bad news today. His Doctor diagnosed him with Tinkafitus, A rare condition which develops due to lack of cleanliness and honesty. While the Maulana has been told to shave off […]

October 23, 2019

Maulana Fazlul Rehman Wants To Mull Over His Life After He’s Done Mulling Over The Azaadi March

October 23, 2019

Social Media Page Admin Still Thinks He Has A Viable Business

30 year old social media page admin of “Pakistan is the best!” after 7 years, still thinks it’s a viable business! He’s gone to extreme lengths for people to take him seriously. He reportedly has growing a moustache and always has a dress shirt on. Even when it’s bed time.  He’s also fought with most of his […]

October 23, 2019

Latest Survey Reveals, Pakistani Men Enjoy Porn Much More Than Item Numbers And Women Aren’t Pissed Off!

Another survey done on yet another random Internet page reports; Pakistani Men enjoy porn much more than Item numbers and surprisingly it doesn’t piss them off.  The result comes in at a time when nation is gripped with debating Neelam Munir’s Item number for some reason. “Look I don’t condone porn either but men have needs […]

October 23, 2019

Dawn Editor In Chief Says It Deserves Atleast One Pass On Shitty Journalism After All The Bold Stuff They Have Done

A few days ago Dawn News took down the article talking about Jami’s rape accusation against a big media tycoon (Hint Hint: he’s related to Dawn). After lot of hue and cry, Dawn News and its journalists urged the twitteratis and critics alike to not judge on this incident and give them a break. “We […]

October 22, 2019

Bobby Deol’s Career Is Still Reported To Be Dead

October 22, 2019

Imran Khan Urges International Community To Think Of Pakistan As A Donation Box

As the economic crises grows, Pakistani Prime Minister has appealed to Pakistani expats and anyone with money to basically think of Pakistan as charity box where you can put all your charity in. In an interview with CNN, Khan saab said Pakistan is poorer then even some African nations and nobody is giving us charity. “People […]

October 22, 2019

Pakistanis Flock To Their Lawyers As They Confuse Trudeau’s Win To Be An Approval To Their Immigration Applications

Pakistanis, in large numbers, rushed to their lawyers offices’ with their Canadian Immigration Applications as they heard about Trudeau’s win. “My lawyer kept on telling me that Trudeau might not win so apply quickly but then I saw that he won I was like let’s call up our lawyer! His line was continuously busy, so […]

October 22, 2019

Misbah Appoints Himself As The 12th Man For The Upcoming Australian Tour

The current chief selector and coach of Pakistan cricket team, for the sake of doing something even more radical for the upcoming Australian cricket series announced himself as the 12th man of the team. Misbah claims he’s already the Coach and the Chief Selector. “What is one more position going to do?!” exclaimed the ex-Pakistan […]

October 10, 2019

‘The Nation’ Plans on Printing its Newspapers in Army Green Colour

Editors Note: This article is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke – literally. ‘The Nation’ which is one of Pakistan’s oldest running news paper has evolved quite a bit over the past few years. According to the editor in chief (who also happens to be a fan of the current chief) and […]

October 10, 2019

PM Khan Awarded Best Prime Minister Award

A few days after the ex-cricket team captain and current Boy Captain of Pakistan’s birthday, the premier was awarded the Best Prime Minister Award. All PTI Party MNA’s and Major Leadership attended the event. The Army Chief Qamar Bajwa and DG ISPR Major General Asif Ghafoor were also in attendance. The Army Chief signed the trophy being […]

June 18, 2019

Fact Check: No Pakistani Player Broke Curfew The Night Before The Match, Confirms PCB

Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) has insisted that its players did not stay out of the team hotel beyond the curfew time the night before the World Cup game against India after videos circulated on social media claimed otherwise. A video and picture showed Immam-Ul-Haq, Wahab Riaz, Imad Waseem out with Shoaib Malik and His Wife Tennis Star […]

June 10, 2019

Fawad Chaudry Announces Rate An Imam, A Mobile App Which Would Review Imam’s of Different Masjids

After retirement from the Information Ministry, Fawad Chaudry as Federal Minister for science and technology has already introduced a website and a mobile app, and now their latest invention Rate An Imam! Rate an Imam, let’s you do exactly as the name implies. People after they are done with their prayers and sermons, they can […]

May 29, 2019

Abhinandan Mistakenly Purchases Tickets to the Imran Khan Enclosure

Ahead of the nail biter between India and Pakistan, the tickets for the much anticipated clash has been sold out. Abhinandan the famous chai drinking Indian Airforce Pilot – who crashed inside Pakistan while trying to take a selfie in Pakistan’s part of Kashmir, took a week off to fly to London to watch the […]

May 17, 2019

New Study Claims Meme Pages “Very Happy” With What’s Happening In The Country.

A recent study done by an online portal recentstudiesfindingjackshit.com, found that both the demand and supply of memes have increased exponentially over the last two years.  One of the reasons is shear rise in stupidity and idiocaracy on the part of everyone in the country! “Khadim Rizvi and Faisal Vawda both played an instrumental part in this rising meme culture, and now Fawad Chaudry aswell. This government is a perfect meme government” […]

May 3, 2019

DG ISPR Asim Ghafoor Specially Calls All Media Outlets to Thank Them For Being “So Understanding” On Press Freedom Day

DG ISPR Asim Ghafoor called on the major news publications today to thank them for being “So Understanding” in these times of crisis, shared the DG ISPR via twitter. While talking to media later, Asim Ghafoor said, Pakistan has one of the top freedoms guaranteed to journalists. Period. There were no counters. “Rather than calling […]

May 2, 2019

Lahore High Court Rules Ali Zafar’s Tears To Be ‘Very Real’

Last week in an interview with Shahzaib Khanzada, Ali Zafar, who wants everyone to know he has worked with ‘beautiful Bollywood actress’, got very emotional when the issue of his alleged inappropriate behaviour with women was brought up. Ali Zafar promptly started crying on national television. The internet at large wasn’t buying it. Memes and […]

Lahori Socialite
April 16, 2019

Lahori Socialite Couple Heartbroken After Failing To Find A Picture With Notre Dame

On Monday evening, a structure older than all your grannies and grandpas combined caught fire while the super expensive 163 million dollar renovations were taking place! Yikes. The building was none other than Notre-Dame: an iconic symbol of art, culture and religion in Paris. Since the fire, there has been an enormous out pouring of […]

Kashmir Newspaper
March 10, 2019

Kashmir Newspapers Publish Blank Front Pages to Protest Government’s Ban on Ads

Major English and Urdu newspapers in occupied Kashmir on Sunday published blank front pages in protest against the Indian State government’s suspension of advertising to two local English dailies – Greater Kashmir and Kashmir Reader.

Mahatama Gandhi
March 6, 2019

Don’t Need Lessons on Nationalism From Those Who Killed Mahatama Gandhi: Indian CM to PM Modi

The Indian CM Mamata Banerjee made some hard hitting remarks against the Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi of ‘doing opportunistic politics over the dead bodies’ of Indian Armed forces. The popular CM vowed to remove the ‘blacklisted’ BJP government from power at the centre during the upcoming polls, and ensured that even signboards of Modi […]

CM-Punjab
March 5, 2019

CM Punjab asks Fayyaz-ul-Chohan to hand in resignation over Racist remarks against the Hindu Community

Punjab Chief Minister, Usman Buzdar, has asked Fayazul Hassan Chohan to hand in his resignation from his post as Provincial Information and Culture Minister over his anti-Hindu remarks, sources have confirmed. “The Punjab CM sought an explanation from Chohan regarding his anti-Hindu remarks.” Chohan was asked to visit the CM House following his speech which […]

PTI Tweet
March 4, 2019

PTI Tweets in Hindi and Twitter goes GAGA!

On Monday, Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf’s official account tweeted Prime Minister Imran Khan’s message in Hindi and Twitterati on both sides of the border went crazy. Sharing Imran’s earlier tweet on Nobel Prize, PTI tweeted: “मैं नोबेल शांति पुरस्कार के योग्य नहीं हूं। इस योग्य व्यक्ति वह होगा जो कश्मीरी लोगों की इच्छा के अनुसार कश्मीर विवाद […]

DR Fariha Bugti
March 2, 2019

Who was the Woman Accompanying The Captured Indian Pilot Abhinandan Vartman?

Did you know who was the woman accompanying the captured Indian Pilot Abhinandan? Well, get ready to be blown away. (For the dramatic effects) Who is she? She is Dr Fariha Bugti, one of Pakistan’s most distinguished officers in Ministry of Foreign Affairs. She is the Director of India Division in the Foreign Office where […]

hamza Ali Abbasi
March 1, 2019

Hamza Ali Abassi somehow manages to sound Cringy in a heartfelt Tweet addressed to the Indian Pilot’s Son

Hamza Ali Abassi, popular actor and well known supporter of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaaf on Thursday night tweeted what we think was supposed to be a heartfelt message. The tweet was directed at the son of the soon to be released Indian pilot Abhinandan Varthaman, but it came off as quite cringe worthy in the face of […]

malala Yousafzai
February 28, 2019

Malala Yousafzai urges Imran Khan and Modi to ‘Shake Hands’

As tensions escalate between the two nuclear nations, Nobel Laureate Malala Yousafzai took to twitter to share a message of peace. Malala tweeted with the hashtag #SayNoToWar which has been trending on twitter for the past 36 hours. Malala writes, “As a Nobel Laureate, UN Messenger of Peace, a citizen of Pakistan and a student, […]

Pak India Flag
February 27, 2019

15 Major Headlines after India Violated Pakistan’s airspace 

Lot has happened since India violated Pakistan’s airspace and dropped the payload. For one, they violated the Air Space again. Here are all the major headlines that took over after. Pakistan will respond to uncalled-for Indian aggression at time, place of its choosing: National Security Council ‘Time for India to wait for our response’: DG […]

olympics
February 22, 2019

The International Olympic Committee urges India’s isolation after Pakistani athletes denied visas

The International Olympic Committee has suspended all Indian applications to host future events and urged international sports federations not to stage competitions in the country after two Pakistanis were denied visas to compete in New Delhi. The Attack The denial of entry visas for two Pakistani shooters due to take part in a World Cup […]

coca cola & pepsi
February 13, 2019

Coke has Stepped onto Pepsi’s Turf and the Guns are Officially Out

The Cola Wars have begun While the PSL teams will be competing on the pitch starting tomorrow, the cola wars have officially begun behind the scenes. The two cola giants, Pepsi and Coca Cola, have gone head to head after the nation’s most beloved sport. Marketing wise PSL is a brilliant opportunity, the problem is there […]

AIB-1
February 12, 2019

Where is All India Bakchod?

All India Bakchod, a group of comedians, took India by storm in the recent years. And in the time of social media, their influence crept through the borders as well. Their fame escalated after they hosted the infamous roast of Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor with Karan Johar. The official twitter account of AIB states […]

Indian Army in Kashmir Day
February 5, 2019

A Glance into the Persecuted Lives of Kashmiris Living in Occupied Kashmir

2018 was the bloodiest year in Kashmir’s history with 324 people dead, including women and children. Analysts have predicted 2019 to be worst.

Indian Army in Kashmir
February 5, 2019

A Timeline of the Kashmir Dispute

1947 The year marked the end of British rule and partition of sub-continent into mainly Hindu majority India and the Muslim majority state of Pakistan. Late 1947 The Maharaja of Kashmir signs a treaty of accession with India after a Pakistani tribal army attacks. War breaks out between India and Pakistan over the disputed region.  […]

Arman Luni Death
February 5, 2019

You Don’t Have to Support PTM to Stand Against Arman Luni’s Death

On the 2nd of February, Arman Luni was killed in an alleged police encounter in the Loralai district of Balochistan. Luni, was a senior member of the Pashtun Tahafuz Movement (PTM), a nationalist movement launched in 2017 in response to the extra-judicial killing of Naqeebullah Meshsud. For many, the PTM is a movement shrouded in […]

Ammar Farooqi
February 1, 2019

Musical Prodigy, Ammar Farooqi Releases His Debut Album

The Pakistani music scene has always had an edge over our neighbours across the border. But somewhere in the middle that absolutely raw talent stalled and we started lacking a fresh new wave of talent. Fortunately enough, since the past year or so we seem to bouncing back bigger and more musical then ever. (Get […]

ARY News Reporter
January 26, 2019

The Real Villain is not Arif Hameed, it’s Ary News

A few days ago a news anchor, Arif Hameed Bhatti, who claims to be a journalist on an ARY News show called ‘The Reporters’, tried his level best to scar a child psychologically and emotionally – which raised significant hue and cry on social media, but quite frankly it failed to ruffle any feathers up […]

Poke Face
January 1, 2019

Man Wakes up to Exact Same Shitty Self in 2019

Suleman woke up at 8 am to the usual loud bell by ‘Baji Rakshanda’, the house maid. As Suleman cursed the maid and gasped his first yawn, something dawned on him: it was 2019! A new year, or as some might say: the dawn of a new year. But Suleman didn’t feel any different. This […]

Startup
December 7, 2018

Why Our Start-up Eco System Has Failed Us

I attended a start-up cup a few days ago representing ProperGaanda. The competition had about a dozen sponsors from different incubators and partner networks, and a main sponsor of the U.S Embassy. They even sent a “gora” to make it look legit. But in all fairness, that “Gora” was qualified, he had been a marketing […]

November 28, 2018

This is why we can’t run away from Rushaan’s suicide

Yesterday, Rushaan Farrukh, a student of Beaconhouse National University allegedly committed suicide. The Punjab Police is yet to say anything on the matter (Ofcourse) Her friends and family have also gone on social media to ask people to take down posts talking of their beloved committing this grave “sinful” act, including ProperGaanda. It could be […]

propergaanda
October 16, 2018

This 24-year-old female car mechanic is making waves in Multan for all the right reasons!

Since picking up a wrench as one of the first female car mechanics in Pakistan, Uzma Nawaz has faced two common reactions: shock and surprise, and then a bit of respect. Mechanic Uzma Nawaz, 24, fixes a car at an auto workshop in Multan. — AFP Uzma’s journey wasn’t easy The 24-year-old spent years overcoming […]

October 6, 2018

CJP Advises Schools To Start Teaching Dam Building Skills To Kids

While Malik Riaz deliberates over paying a PKR 1 billion fine or otherwise building an entire dam complete with a mall, green valley and mosque, our CJP has made an equally ambitious statement. Breaking headlines this Saturday, Justice Saqib a.k.a Maula Judge called on all schools to include ‘Dam Building 101’ in the curriculum. The […]

September 7, 2018

Breaking News: PM Imran Khan Has Been Rushed to PIMS Hospital

In the wee hours of the morning, Prime Minister Imran Khan was rushed to the nearest hospital via a helicopter. Rest assured, Fawad Chaurdhary – a man known to stick to his word through thick and thin – has released a statement to the media that this form of transportation was indeed the most economical way.  The incident […]

August 16, 2018

Two Friends Allegedly Spent a Whole Evening Without Discussing Politics

Lahore: On Thursday night, when Shaani called Maani, two residents and friends from Old Lahore, they decided to go out and have dinner. As always both friends expected dinner to end with a discussion on Imran Khan and well, rest of Pakistan. Shaani and Maani both do not see eye to eye when it comes […]

August 13, 2018

Imran Khan Urges the Nation to Throw Away Purani Jhandiyan in Naya Pakistan

As Khan gears up to take the oath of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, he has called on his party and the nation to throw away ‘Purani Jhandiyan’ and buy new ones with better graphics and style. According to inside sources, Khan and the party want to make sure this Independence Day will be known […]

August 12, 2018

African Muslims Unite for More Stereotypical Representation by Racists and Bigots

New York: Islamophobia never really finished, but in the words of Kumail Nanjani “it’s really having a moment right now”. While people are protesting and fighting the racists left, right and center, there is a certain group of people who feel they lack representation in people’s hate. Yes, you heard that right!! A group of […]

August 1, 2018

Imran Khan Decides to Take Hamza Ali Abassi Along on His First International Tour

While Imran Khan is yet to be officially sworn in as Prime Minister of Pakistan, the rumours coming out of Party (G)HQ are that Khan is thinking of taking Hamza Ali Abassi with him on his first international tour instead of his wife, Bushra Maneka a.k.a Pinki Parni. Naeem-Ul-Haq, who in recent times is best […]

July 31, 2018

Pindi Boyz Not Allowed in Centaurus, Even in Naya Pakistan

While many rejoiced over Imran Khan’s victory as Pakistan’s new PM, the celebrations halted for some.  Thursday morning, when the youngsters and bikers of Pindi also known as “Pindi Boyz” woke up, they were happy to see to a Naya Pakistan. But their happiness was short lived. Just like Obreyn Martell from Game of Thrones, when […]

July 26, 2018

Good Morning Pakistan, Rise and Shine!

It has finally happened. Imran Khan, the former Pakistan skipper, alleged womanizer, and the right’s prodigal son has won the elections. There have been many twists and turns, may I dare use the word “U-Turns”, but in the end Khan is victorious.   The elections have been called one of Pakistan’s dirtiest by the international […]

July 2, 2018

Mr. Sheikh Escapes The Authorities Again

Last Sunday, Sheikh Rasheed pulled off another stunt in Lal Haveli The Awaami Muslim League party president, also known as the party that is always running with the tide, was seen wheeling his way through the Lal Haveli during a PTI jalsa to keep the audience entertained. Inside sources have told ProperGaanda that the wheelie was […]

April 22, 2018

Chief Justice Confuses Pashtun March for a Traffic Jam

Last Saturday, the Chief Justice, while being chauffeured to the supreme court in his people’s mobile – a bullet proof Mercedes – was held up due to the road block caused by the Pashtun March. The people in the demonstration were chanting slogans for missing persons and ill-treatment of this significant yet disfranchised minority group. […]

Chief Justice of Pakistan
February 27, 2018

Chief Justice Seeks Clarification from Dawn on Misreporting of His Coat’s Brand

The Chief Justice of Pakistan, Mian Saqib Nisar held a press conference today, asking for Dawn’s clarification on misreporting his coat’s brand. The clarification the Chief Justice demands is of a news report in Dawn where it was quoted: “Chief Justice on his visit to an Army museum wore a branded Armani overcoat”. The CJP […]

February 26, 2018

All the Prophet’s Men

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in this article belong solely to the writer and are not a reflection of the views supported by ProperGaanda itself. Michael Hart had to make a difficult decision when deciding on the most influential person in history. Alas, Michael made a decision. It had to be the Prophet of Islam. It […]

February 24, 2018

24 Feb Daily Digestible News

Today’s daily news in digestible bullets; Man killed, four injured in cross-border firing by Indian forces, Bonhomie marks opening of TAPI gas pipeline, Careem captain found murdered in Islamabad’s Sector G-13, ‘Training elements, not fighting force being sent to Saudi Arabia,’ PM Abbasi clarifies and more. Daily News 01 Man killed, four injured in cross-border firing by Indian forces […]

February 13, 2018

Local Debater Can’t Argue for Shit With His Parents

A local debater from Defence Housing Authority recently confessed to a biting truth – He hasn’t won a single argument with his parent since the day he was conceived. Ali Aslam apart from having two of the most common names in the country is also a renowned debater. He has attended every debating competition and […]

January 29, 2018

Daily Digestible News – 29th January 2018

Today’s News in Daily Digestible Bullets covering; After 15 years, Lyari Expressway finally becomes fully operational, Qadri shelves protest policy, seeks legal solution to Model Town incident, Karachi youth Intizar’s father wants son’s murder case to be tried in ATC, FIA arrests man in Jhang for sharing child pornography with international ring and more! After […]

PAT protest
January 17, 2018

The Problem With #GameOverKhoonLeague Protest

Yesterday, the hashtag #GameOverKhoonLeague started trending on Twitter. Tahir-ul-Qadri has called on his supporters to protest in Lahore against PML-N, over the Model Town Massacre. Supporters of other parties have joined him. While Tahir-ul-Qadri’s demands are valid, his methods to seek justice for the Model Town Massacre are problematic. Here are four issues with this protest: […]

pp 20 chakwal
January 9, 2018

Chakwal pp-20 elections going to be a close fight 

Overview Pakistan Muslim League Nawaz (PML-N) and Pakistan Tehreek-i-Insaf (PTI) have gone all out for the by-election in Chakwal’s PP-20, which is scheduled for today. This election might set up the course in the district for the upcoming general elections. PP-20 has been a stronghold of the ruling PML-N since 1985 but it may not […]

December 25, 2017

11 Times Jinnah Called It Like A Boss

Mohammed Ali Jinnah was born on December 25, 1876, in an ordinary but comfortable household in Karachi, which was then part of the Bombay Presidency in British India. Interestingly, his birthplace was not far from where Islam first came to the Indian subcontinent in AD 711 through the conquests of the young Arab General, Muhammad bin […]

December 14, 2017

Student Oscar Semifinalist All Set To Show Her Documentary On The Big Stage

Mahnoor Zaidi, an aspiring film maker and a recent graduate of York Film School in Canada, will be having a screening for her latest documentary “Dust to Dust” on this coming Sunday in Lahore – It underscores the life of a gravedigger; an individual who performs the formidable task of creating the final resting place […]

December 11, 2017

Happy Human Rights Day Pakistan!

On 3rd December 2017, which was also the official global Human Rights Day, Raza Mahmood Khan went to a talk on extremism held amid the recent Islamabad 20-day sit-in by Tehreek-e-Labaik Ya Rasool Allah (TLYRA) protestors. He was, like many other activists, critical of the sit-in. On his way back home he was picked up […]

December 4, 2017

Man refuses to tell children about the end of load-shedding

While many rejoiced over the news of load-shedding finishing, a local man in Lahore wasn’t all that happy. He supposedly is one of many to have requested Pemra to disallow the news to be delivered so openly. Their objection is simple: “BIJLI KAI PAISAY TUMHARA BAAP DAI GA” (Will your father give money for the […]

December 1, 2017

Breaking News:TLYRA starts another protest after a new born fails to confirm the finality of the Prophet

Yesterday, the TLYRA started a protest outside a local hospital in Lahore, demanding the Health Minister’s resignation. The protestors emerged after a news release about a new born failed to confirm the finality of Prophet (P.B.U.H). The eye witness, a heroin addict who was visiting the hospital last night due to a drug overdose, verified […]

Illustration by Saba Nazir
November 26, 2017

An excerpt from Nawaz Sharif’s Diary

Dear Dairy, It’s been xyz days since I was stripped of my Prime Minister title. I’m no more the Premier, but a man who watches movie premiers from time to time. Unfortunately, I don’t get invited to many of those either. Khaqan is the new kid on the block, he flies air force jets and […]

November 13, 2017

Imran Khan: The dashing con man

Imran Khan and his party, Pakistan Tehreek-i-Insaaf (PTI), dominated the political landscape in the 2010 elections; I still remember his rally at Minar-e-Pakistan in Lahore, with students pouring out from jam-packed buses. Pakistan hadn’t seen such a politically engaged youth since the time of the late Zulfikar Ali Bhutto. The streets were filled with election […]

Imran for P.M
November 9, 2017

Imran Khan asks his party workers to call him Prime Minister

Last night in a high-profile meeting at Bani Gala, Imran Khan, the supreme leader of Pakistan Tehreek-e-Insaf asked his party workers to address him as “Prime Minster”. Imran khan arrived at the decision supposedly after he was seen quarrelling with his dog. The Captain stated that he eventually persuaded his dog that he is indeed […]

October 27, 2017

A nurse from Vihari accuses doctor of harassment, gets fired herself instead.

Sharmeen Obaid’s latest tweets resulted in a doctor from Karachi’s prestigious hospital getting fired. This incident took the Pakistani cyber-space by surprise and also started a chain of awkward “hmmm okay” reactions. A young nurse from Vehari who on the rare occasion uses her brother’s phone to access the internet found out about the incident. […]

October 24, 2017

Dear Nawaz, It’s time to pass on the baton

Two days ago, the ex-premier of the country Nawaz Sharif called the Interior Ministry to ensure that the missing PML-N online social media activists be released. He further talked about why freedom of speech is important and why we shouldn’t be picking up social media activists, as it goes against the principles of a free country. […]

October 18, 2017

5 Times Pakistani Politicians couldn’t get enough of the Army

Pakistani politicians’ relationship with the armed forces is similar to Laila Majnu’s love story, in a way that both have disastrous endings! Obviously, there are major differences as well. If we assume Pakistan Army to be Laila, then it represents the girl who is out of Majnu’s (Politicians, obviously) league who the latter simply can’t […]

October 10, 2017

15 yr Old Christian Teenager Killed By Police Officers After Getting Into a Fight With a Muslim boy in School

A teenaged Christian boy was beaten to death by six policemen on October 9 in Jabbran district in Pakistan’s Sheikhupura area in Punjab, rights organizations said. Arslan Masih was an 8th grader at Government High School who got into a fight with a Muslim boy two days ago. The fight was allegedly triggered because Arslan […]

September 28, 2017

How Pakistan’s Transgender Community Found Its Voice – The Milestones

We’ve seen them dancing at weddings, draped in sequinned dresses and flashy costume jewelry, and shooed them away when they’ve approached us for loose change on busy street corners. We’ve heard about them living on the fringes of society and being forced to make a living by begging, dancing, or sex work. We’ve even read […]

September 26, 2017

A Writer Goes into Depression After Not Being Able to Find the 9th Point for Her Listicle!

A Lahore based writer has gone into depression because she couldn’t find the 9th point for her listicle.  The incident happened when she was completing her listicle “9 things the colour of your poop can tell you about your personality”. The writer writes for a famous right-wing digital publication “NA PARHO”. According to our sources, […]

September 19, 2017

Today’s News In Digestible Bullets – 19th September

Maryam Nawaz is off to London The dust from NA-120 has hardly settled and Maryam Nawaz is off to London. Currently the whole Sharif Family is there visiting Kulsoom Nawaz. The NAB references are out and the Sharif’s have indicated that neither they or their lawyer will be appearing in front of the court. KP Passing […]

September 8, 2017

11 Things you need to know about Sharoon Masih’s murder right now

17-year-old Sharoon Masih was ruthlessly murdered on 28th August 2017. He fell victim to faith-based barbarism by his own classmates, that too within the walls of his own school. ProperGaanda has been following the story and detailed initial reports here two days ago. We have now managed to speak to Sharoon’s parents with the help of the […]

August 21, 2017

7 Things Nawaz Sharif Absolutely Loves!

Nawaz Sharif might have been ousted as the Prime Minister of Pakistan, but that does not mean he’s out of the spotlight. After his recent march to the poor man’s Westeros, he’s made sure of that. During his march, he made a romantic confession for the people of Gujranwala, so I thought why not look […]

August 2, 2017

A Rich Man’s Dog

Hi, I’m Tommy. You know, “Tommy”. From “Humara kuta Kuta, aur tumhara kuta Tommy”. I am what every dog dreams to be – I am a rich man’s dog. I am not like you regular dogs; I wake up in the morning and have a person serve me some dark brown capsules which look like […]

Simply put, antibiotics are poisons that are used to kill. Only licensed physicians can prescribe them buy antibiotics i don,t know if larger doses are in fact administered to people buying prednisone online uk. many experts feel weight gain, and not disease prevention, is the real reason antibiotics are so widely used propecia to buy online these microbes compete for nutrients from the food you eat buy azithromycin online this chapter addresses the possibility that antibiotics may help fungi to proliferate within the human body. I don,t know if larger doses are in fact administered to people buy accutane on line this as yet revolutionary drug stops the yeast overgrowth caused by all other antibiotics and is 100 percent safe to use purchasing neurontin online. Although the nystatin they discovered is technically a mycotoxin, it works wonders an intestinal antifungal get online elavil no prescription some scientists have linked non-steroidal, anti-inflammatory drugs (nsaids) such as naproxen and ibuprofen to the problem, back in the 1950s, two researchers in albany, new york, worked to develop an antimicrobial drug from a substance produced by a soil-based fungus where to buy prednisone back in the 1950s, two researchers in albany, new york, worked to develop an antimicrobial drug from a substance produced by a soil-based fungus, tons of antibiotics are fed to american livestock on a daily basis, purportedly to proof them against bacteria get lasix online many experts feel weight gain, and not disease prevention, is the real reason antibiotics are so widely used.