An excerpt from Mamnoon Hussain’s Diary

Dear Diary,

Islamabad is witnessing it’s 5284th dharna; the political scenario is awash with gossip; Nawaz, Imran and Musharraf are brewing up a storm and I, the President of Pakistan sit here writing in my diary. Being the President of the only country in the world still plagued by Polio should mean something , one should think. However, my presence is meaningless and my power is all for show. I am as essential to the polity of Pakistan as the Balochis are to our nation. I have a ‘kursi’, but it’s just the wrong sort, unfortunately. Tomorrow, I’m hoping that I will have a more productive day. I’m going to wake up early, make a few important calls and sign some important documents pertaining to my upcoming birthday, of course. Once I’ve handled that, I shall retire for the evening and reward myself by watching Netflix while snacking on delicious Dhai Bhallas dilvered all the way from model town. I’m currently watching ‘The Crown’; I really do feel as though Elizabeth and I are two kindred spirits. P.S. I’m pondering whether I should make a twitter account. I think I’ll give Trump a call, he really seems to have the hang of it. Signing off,
M.H.

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